Weird Weekend

I was out mowing the backyard on Friday when I saw a white pickup truck coming down the driveway. I thought it was more evangelicals coming to invite me to a revival, but I should have recognized the truck, since I rode in it to Ms. Emma's funeral on Tuesday. My brother and his wife drove in from Monroe; they wanted to go to Ed Lester's farm stand today.

Well, I love company. But if you saw my house at the moment, you'd know that company was about the last thing I needed. I have a bedroom set in my living room; the bedroom where it's going is a wreck--I've stripped glue off the floor and puttied the holes in the wall for painting. I have books and furniture all over the house. I'm usually an organized person, but, right now, I'm about as disorganized as a person can get. It affects my focus, which means I don't have any right now. I don't have much room to cook; didn't have anything thawed out except a whole chicken (which would have taken a couple of hours), plus I was in the middle of mowing.

And of course, I've been dealing with three cats dying, and a fourth that I'm afraid will also die (vet's on Monday, since I have a home for it). Add to that my summer school class that I should have been monitoring, which was difficult to do with company. I also had a lunch engagement on Saturday for a friend's birthday, so I needed to leave my house around 11am. And I planned to have the oil changed in the car, too, for my trip to Austin on Thursday (and I did).

The last time they spent a summer weekend with me, the A/C wouldn't work, and, believe it or not, it wouldn't work yesterday, either. It's been working great, but I turned it off for the coolish weather. When I turned it on yesterday, the compressor wouldn't work. That means a call to the A/C guy on Monday, as well as the vet visit. I can hear the money pouring out of my already strained account.

It's always better if people call me to let me know they are coming--not that I begrudge my brother and his wife their visit. I like company. I just like to be prepared for it. And, in some ways, I resent that people think I don't have a life. I have one; they just don't know about it because I don't normally broadcast my social calendar. Maybe, though, people will start calling me before they just show up on my doorstep.

Visitors are welcomed with proper notice!
*****
Update--I buried the last kitten this morning (06.07.09).

Summer Semester and Projects...

The long summer session begins Monday (June 1), and, while my course site is ready, I'm not. Geez, where do the days go?


The projects for the summer--paint the bedrooms, living room, and hall; paint the Sears circa 1919 iron bed and some bookcases; rip the carpets up and refinish the red oak floors; make new curtains; get my daughter to build some bookcases...what else? Oh, yeah. Finally, sheetrock the wall I knocked down last year in the bathroom. The kitchen and bathroom might be good projects for next year. I don't have the money or time to redo them. Painting, etc., is going to be hard enough. I hate moving furniture, and I have no idea where I'm going to put all this stuff. Hmmm...I think a garage sale is in order--anything but my books.


I feel a trip to Lowe's coming on.


*****

My mom called me this morning around 8am to let me know that a close friend of the family, Emma Davidson, died of a heart attack. I'm shocked. My mom and dad were planning a trip with them in August. Funeral arrangements are pending, so I don't know when that will be, but I'm guessing Monday. I wonder why, the older I get, the more surprised I am when people older than I am die. Of course, I'm also shocked when people younger die. Let's face it--I'm shocked when anyone I know dies. I hope I'm not holding on to the idea that I'll live forever. I thought I got over that many years ago.


So, here's a sunflower for Ms. Emma.

The Kitten Saga...

A little over a month ago, the feral mother cat who is responsible for nearly all the other feral cats around here had another litter.  Four cute little kittens.  When the rains came, she moved them into the laundry room--her usual behavior--where they stayed until she thought I was getting too familiar with them.  Then, about two weeks ago, she moved them across the ditch.

Yesterday afternoon, I went out to the back ramp and, lo and behold, I found three of the kittens, meowing at a fever pitch.  I could hear the fourth one--sounded as though it was still across the ditch--and I figured the mother cat had not moved it yet.  Somewhere around nine pm last night, the fourth kitten came tearing up the ramp from the deep darkness of the backyard in response to its siblings' cries.

I have no idea where the mother cat is.  I don't know if they found their way here, or if she brought them.  She's a conscientious mom, so I'm wondering if the marauding dogs got her, or maybe a coyote or hawk. 

For the time being, the babies are in my laundry room with dry cat food and water.  They can eat solid food, but I worry that they still need their mother's milk.  The water will help hydrate them, but it's no substitute.

Anybody need a kitten?  They're a bit clingy right now, but they should be ready for a good home in a week or two.  You just have to promise to neuter them when they are old enough (ask your vet when that should be).  They haven't had shots, either.  I can't afford to inoculate every stray cat that hangs around here, even if I could catch them all.

So, here they are in a picture I took on May 5, before the mom moved them.  They are slightly bigger, but not much.  I don't know if they are boys or girls, yet, but time will tell!

What I Don't Like About Summer...

Well, let's go with the obvious first--the heat!  Though with all of the weird weather we've had lately, that might not be at the top of the list by summer's end.  On Sunday (5.17.09), for example, the high temp is supposed to be 68!  Go figure.

Second, my time clock gets screwed up.  I slept today until noon, for example, which is great, but I'll probably be up until 2am, which will cause me to sleep later tomorrow--you see the pattern here?  Teaching online from home is excellent, yes.  But, when fall comes, I'll have to seriously adjust my biological clock to get back on track.

Third, unless I go back to working at the bookstore, or having lunch with my "peeps" periodically, I won't see too many people unless they make an effort to come here.  That's not likely to happen.  So, by the end of the summer, I'll be holding regular conversations with my cats, expecting them to answer.  I'll have to schedule a few trips--and have, already.  Houston next week; Austin in the middle of June.  I'm hoping to persuade my kids to visit sometime during the summer, too.  My most sustained conversations, other than with the cats, will likely be the cashiers at the grocery store.

Fourth, air conditioning bills, though that's closely aligned to the first dislike.  The hotter the temp, the higher they rise.  I feel as though I'm working to pay the utility company.

I'm sure I have tons of other summer dislikes.  But, on the flip side, sleeping late has its perks, air conditioning keeps me cool, and I don't have to drive unless I want to.  And Mr. Lester's Market opens soon, so I can indulge in fresh produce and local honey all summer.  I think the likes/dislikes balance, which is all I really want--a balance.  I do have more time for writing and reading, and I love most that my time is my own...I can do what I want, when I want.  That's the best thing about summer.

Goodbye, Grandfather Tree

Well, it finally happened. My anti-nature next-door neighbor pulled down the old tree at the back of her property. She's back on her kick of removing as many trees as she can...when she first moved in, she cut down 19 trees. Oh, her Karma's so far in the hole!

Okay, so it was old and gnarled and frequently dropped limbs on the fence. But she was the one who put up the fence so close to it. I'll bet that tree was there for a hundred years or more. And now the back of my yard will get full sun all morning, which means the grass will get dry and crunchy.

I need a new neighbor.

I took a video of the tree coming down, but I can't figure out how to flip it--I turned my camera sideways to take the video. I'll figure it out and post it as soon as I can.

I'm sad my old friend is gone.

Here We Go Again...

with the plagiarism. 

A couple of years ago, I had a rash of plagiarism in a freshman class.  I think I turned in three students at one time--one received zeros on her assignments (which effectively tanked her grade); one received a zero and probation for the rest of her time in college; and the other didn't show up for his hearing, and, I guess, ended up being expelled.

I hate plagiarism.  First, it takes a great deal of my time--I have to gather up and copy material, write a memo to the dean of students, and hold the rest of the assignments until the dean sets a hearing date and the committee makes a decision.  Second, my other students get angry with me because I won't give them their papers, and I won't tell them why.  Third, inevitably, the Student Conduct Board sets the hearing for a day when I wouldn't be in town, which means that I have to drive 45 minutes one way for 15 minutes of drama, then drive 45 minutes back home.  Not productive for me.

Generally, the student cops to it.  If he/she would do that to the dean of students, the hearing wouldn't be necessary.  The student could discuss it with the dean, and he and I could determine how to handle it.  That would be much easier (for me).

I can't ignore it--my students just don't understand that.  And, if they thought about it, they wouldn't want me to.  They'd hate the idea that another student made a better grade by cheating.  So I have to do this.  I just wish I didn't.

This poem writing has me by the throat...

I wrote a sonnet the other day; that's line two.

I don't write much formal poetry--that is, poems that require a specific form. That being said, in the last two days, I've written three--a sonnet, a villanelle, and a pantoum.

Formed poetry is, to me, mathematical in its precision. I have to worry about meter and rhyme scheme, and sometimes, as with the villanelle and the pantoum, I have to flip lines according to a specific pattern. It's hard; it requires concentration. But once I get started with them, they are hard to shake.

So, here's the pantoum; I'll post this on NaPo tomorrow:

A Possible Pantoum
04/05/09

There is no heart where heartache cannot go.
We guard ourselves, believing we are safe,
Yet pain will come, and we will never know
The lengths to which it goes to find its place.

We guard ourselves, believing we are safe
From jealousy, and love, and burning rages.
The lengths to which it goes to find its place
Never lessens, not with growing grace or age.

These jealousies, and loves, and burning rages
Consume us, fill our souls with awful fire.
It never lessens, not with growing grace or age
And drags us through the mud of grand desire

That consumes us; it fills our souls with fire
That burns us down to ash and smoky embers
and drags us through the mud of grand desire
To places we fear we always will remember.

It burns us down to ash and smoky embers.
The pain will come, and we will never know
the places we fear, that we always will remember.
There is no heart where heartache cannot go.

See if you can figure out the "rules" for this one!

April is Poetry Month...

so I am participating at NaPoWriMo at Poets.org, where my friend, Catherine Rogers, moderates a forum.

I've gotten another friend/former student involved.  It's similar to NaNoWriMo--but for NaPo, the object is to write a poem a day.  I'm hoping it forces me to get back into the poetry-writing habit that I abandoned a while ago. 

I used to write poetry all the time--and I do mean that!  I've had poems published, and I received a fellowship for my poetry.  But, after I read and/or grade 60-70 essays or other writing assignments, I don't feel poetic.  By the time I finish grading papers, I feel like Eliza Doolittle in "My Fair Lady"--"Words, words, words--I'm so sick of words."

Just so my students don't go into a blue funk, let me say that not everything I read is awful.  It's just that, after my brain processes all those words, it has trouble finding more.  I have to decompress; then I have to begin grading again.  It's a never-ending cycle.

So far, so good...I've posted two poems.  I wrote them a few weeks ago, but I've been revising them.  As long as they're still "in play," I think of them as current.  And today I've written a couple of poems that need work, so I'll use those when I'm ready for someone to see them.

Ah, one must have these little challenges! 

Louisiana Budget BS...

Am I hearing this right?  If Louisiana wants to fund healthcare and education, we have to pay higher gas prices?  Excuse me? 

I ask this question because, every time I read something about the state's budget crises, one of the "reasons" postulated for it is the lower oil prices.  So my understanding (sorry, not an economist here) is that, in order to have the money to fund these two areas, oil prices need to stay high.

Am I not understanding this correctly?  It seems too simplistic.  What I do know is that these two areas are not protected, so they are always the first two categories that are slashed.  That, of course, puts us last or next-to-last in the US in those categories--consistently--crisis or no. 

I think what bothers me the most is Louisiana, as a state, doesn't seem to value education--period.  And, I guess, it doesn't value health, either.  So we have uneducated, unhealthy people living here.  Which doesn't recommend it, does it?

I think my mother captures some of the mentality, as far as education is concerned.  She told me once, "The more educated a person is, the less that person believes in God," as though education and faith were mutually exclusive, something I don't believe at all. 

We need to get over that in order to progress.  If we don't have an educated workforce, the most we can hope to attract, business-wise, are companies that rely on unskilled labor.  And while we may be attracting more non-agriculture jobs, do those jobs make use of college-educated residents?  Not entirely. Do we want that?  Do we want our college-educated, white-collar force to desert the state to find jobs that pay it for its intelligence and education?

This whole situation just chaps me.  State legislators who spent us into this crisis, whoever they are, should lose their jobs.  Any state legislator who voted him/herself a pay raise in the last two years should have to give that money back, especially when many workers haven't received raises in at least that many years.  And any state legislator who filled budgets with pet pork projects should be barbequed over the spit of public opinion. 

We have to start paying attention to what these people are doing.  We have to raise our voices and tell them to pay attention and do what's right for Louisiana and the people who live here.

Spring Break...

is not much of one, so far.

My brother and his wife came in Saturday night, and, Sunday, we got out in the yard and cleaned up.  We cut up limbs that had fallen down, and I have so much stuff for the burn pile, plus two big piles to burn in the front yard.  Mike and Linda cleaned out the front azalea bed; we cleared out the space in front of the garage; didn't do much in the back yard except cut up a huge limb that fell late last year.  I managed to get a climbing rose bush planted at the corner of the front porch. The yard looks so much better.  I'm hoping that we can all get together in April to plant the butterfly garden I want.

My mother and two of my sisters showed up on Sunday.  Mom cooked cabbage; Jeri brought red beans and rice; Mary brought me a bookcase and some chotchkas from my sister Lydia, all in keeping with the bee theme, except for a beautiful star ornament to hang in the back yard.  I feel lucky to have my family members.  Really, I love them all, but I know who I can depend on.

****

I've been grading papers...gee, that sounds so familiar!  Why should spring break really be a break?  I have midterm grades averaged for three classes.  I have two sets (well, really three) of papers to grade and two sets of drafts to read.  I'm hoping to get the papers graded and grades posted by Wednesday so I can spend some time gardening.

****

The repair shop didn't get in the parts for my car, so I have no idea if they'll be able to repair my car this week.  I'm kind of ticked about that...I don't have three consecutive days for car repairs when I'm working; these guys aren't opened on Saturday, but I'm not taking my car to the Mazda place in Bossier.  The last time I had to have my car repaired, the Mazda dealership kept my car for ten days--they didn't bother to tell me that one of their mechanics quit.  Every time I called, they told me "We'll have it ready tomorrow."

I probably should go to the store tomorrow, just in case.  I hope I can get the car fixed and inspected before I have to go back to school.

Springing Forward...

Written on March 7, 2009

I hate daylight savings time.  Let me just get that out of the way.

I do like more daylight in the evenings, but I hate the whole changing the clocks twice a year, especially in my car.  If cars didn't have digital clocks, maybe I'd feel differently about it, but when the time changes, I have to get out the manual and figure out how to set the clock.  I don't like having the wrong time staring at me while I'm driving, so I become obsessive about fixing it.  I'm wishing the car clock had a stem, like a wristwatch does, so I could do this more easily.

The other thing I don't like about DST is that my cats aren't on it.  They'll keep waking me up on their own internal schedule.  Doesn't matter if the clock reads 5:30am; if they want me up, they're going to find a way to get me up.

I'll bet we don't really know what time it is anymore because we've sprung forward and fallen back so much.  Einstein is right; time is relative.  Too bad I can't live on my internal clock; I'd be in perpetual nap time.

*****

I finally finished the assignments hanging over my head (Saturday) and went outside to clear the herb garden.  I love my herb garden.  Fresh herbs make foods more flavorful, and I like not having to pay for them since they are so expensive (even the dried herbs are expensive these days).  Now to get the vegetable garden dug up and planted, which I will do next weekend. 

Teaching summer school online is the only way to go!  With only one class, I can spend more time on my gardens.  Inevitably, of course, I have to work on my fall classes, but not having to drive into the "big" city saves me so much time.

*****

Now to get the front garden cleared out and plant some flowers.  Today is also bread-baking day.  I'm out of bread, and I hate paying the ridiculous prices for that airy stuff that passes for it.  I have a great recipe for French bread that makes four loaves.  It freezes well and goes with anything I cook.

I might be done with schoolwork for the day, but it seems that I've made myself quite a to-do list here.  Better get started!

Waxing Poetic

I have been trying to come up with ideas for a new blog--not that I ever truly have problems--but I couldn't decide what I wanted to tackle next.  It occurred to me, though, that I should write about writing poetry, since my Facebook cohorts and I have been swapping poems we like and poems we've written.

I've been writing poetry since I was in high school, which was a loooooong time ago (in a galaxy far, far away...not really!).  That doesn't mean that I'm a great poet; it just means I've been trying to be a better poet for almost 40 years.  I've published my work in a few small literary journals, been a member of a number of writing groups, edit poetry journals, won a fellowship ($2500--I bought a new dryer, among other things), and met so many wonderful writers that I can't remember them all. 

All that means squat.

A writer can't sit back and say, "Well, I've done that, so I don't need to do anything else."  It's not about what I wrote yesterday, it's about what I've written today.  The admonishment, "Never a day without a line" is one I take seriously.  So, even if all I write is a blog, I try to write something.  Some days, I only write comments on students' essays and assignments, but I try to put some thought into those, too.

These days, I don't feel poetic.  I think the constant grind of life distracts me.  Occasionally, the muse will gift me a line, and I snatch it and mine it for all it's worth.  I never take those gifts for granted.  But I don't sit around waiting for them, either.

Most writers will say that good writing is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  Good writing takes work.  That's the hard part--a writer has to work at writing.  And, of course, I believe what I teach my students, that the most important part of writing is revising.  I have a friend, an excellent poet named Brenda Hillman, who revises most of her poems at least 50 times.  It shows.  Her work is luminous, something that I envy and aspire to.  As long as I keep such good poets around me, as long as I read their works and study their techniques, I'll improve. 

So, here's the poem I posted on my Facebook page:

Hourglass

Curvy, that's how
I would describe
her
and him
and them, together.
Perhaps nervy,
him thinking
she's the type
who'll put up
with anything.
She dips and narrows
as the sands
of her time fall through
this impasse,
this impossible maneuver.

And, remember, it's my original work, so it's copywrited.  I have the handwritten original to prove it.

Me and My Monkeys...

One of my students, during an IM session, suggested that I write a blog about my rather obsessive working habits.  I don't think I'm OCD--really, I hate to grade papers--but I don't think I should hold on to student work any longer than I have to.  I set due dates on my assignments, and, frankly, I can't see where being a professor gives me the right to sit on a stack of work until the end of the semester.  Besides, it would nag me to the point that I couldn't sleep.

When I receive student work, I might not be able to get to it right away.  For example, I received two sets of essays Sunday; then, on Monday, I received a set of reading journals.  But I taught on Monday, kept office hours, had a meeting, had a book group meeting Monday night, the Wifi at the bookstore wasn't working, and I was away from home until 9pm. Today, Tuesday, I'm goofing off a bit, trying to work myself into work, but I know that, soon, I'm going to wade into them and dispatch them with a vengeance.  I might not send them back for three or four days, but I'll send them back before the week is out. 

And that prompts me to admit that I'm the world's biggest procrastinator.  I HATE to grade assignments, but, since that's part of a job I love, I do it.  Some mornings, I'll sit at my desk for an hour playing Spider Solitaire, but, when the moment comes to "bite the bullet," I'm on those papers like a bee on a flower, and I don't stop until my eyes fall out--figuratively, of course!

I'm quick to point out to my students that some things are "not my monkeys."  Grading student work is "my monkey."  I think students respect teachers who return their work as quickly as possible.  And, frankly, I just want to "clear the decks."  I can't enjoy myself if I have a stack of work hanging over me.

Which brings me to my absolute abhorrence of late work.  When I sit at my desk for three days, I want to walk away knowing that I've returned everything I needed to.  Late work means more time at my desk, if I choose to grade it (I don't, mostly), and also means that I have to backtrack.  I don't want to backtrack--I want to move forward.

Am I a "Type A"?  Probably.  I'll admit that, when I don't have anything to grade, I'll find something I need or want to do, even if it's just reading a book.  I'm not one for lounging on the sofa, eating bon bons...though I won't pass up chocolate!

I blame my father for this obsessive desire for completion.  He only offered me a few direct bits of advice, and one of them was: "Your boss pays you to do your work in a timely manner.  Period.  If you don't do the work, you don't deserve the money."

Thanks, Dad!

****

And here's another thing. 

I know "people lie" (my favorite "House-ism"), and I think my BS meter works well.  When someone walks into my office, the BS meter clicks on.  I listen, I watch, and I assess.

I don't automatically assume that students lie to me.  In most cases, if a student takes the time to talk to me, I'm more inclined to think the student wants to come clean about whatever is preventing him/her from doing the coursework.  And I'll listen and try to respond appropriately.

And I do care.  I can't always help, but I try to offer appropriate responses to students who obviously have problems. While I can sympathize, though, sometimes I can't excuse. 

You've heard this before, too--"Everybody has problems."  Yes.  But, amazingly, not everybody can cope with his/her problems well.  After a while, a "problem" begins to sound like an excuse, especially if a student invokes it repeatedly to justify late or nonexistent work. I'll do what I can do, but, eventually, the student must assume responsibility; if he/she doesn't, the result is a failing grade.

I was shocked the other day when a student told me that most professors don't care why students aren't completing their assignments.  I only feel that way when students don't talk to me.  After a while, it's "not my monkey."  But I tell my students that they need to talk to me if they are having problems that interfere with their work.  Sadly, many of them just don't take the time.

The Bees Knees...

Many, many years ago, I let slip to my family that I wanted to be a beekeeper.  At the time, I was reading Sylvia Plath; her poems are full of bees and beekeeping.  And the bee is a constant symbol for Emily Dickinson, another of my favorite poets.  Somehow, keeping bees (though I don't know how anyone can "keep" a bee) seemed romantic, and, besides, who would pass up all that honey?

That, of course, was before I did my research and discovered how much time and effort beekeeping requires.  Trust me...I have six books on bees and beekeeping, and I know I don't have the time to properly look after them.  But the notion is still one I harbor. I'm thinking about getting Mason bees to satisfy the urge.  These bees don't make honey; they live in paper tube condos instead of hives, require little attention, but are good pollinators for gardens.  And I need them for my gardens.

But, the damage has been done.  My sisters, who love to shop, have been giving me "bee" things--garden ornaments, birdhouses, bird feeders, candleholders.  This week, when I stopped to visit my mom, she gave me a bag from one of my sisters.  I'm now the proud owner of a bee chip-and-dip set!  The only thing I've contributed to this unplanned collection is a bee windsock that hangs in a tree in my backyard. 

Most of my "collections" were unplanned.  I have two shadowboxes of thimbles--my former mother-in-law started that.  I have masks--my aunt started that.  I have China cups and saucers and green teapots--I think I started those.  I bought most of my teapots in the flea market in the French Quarter over several years.  My friends scope out the China cabinet, and then I get these wonderful little gifts to add to my collections.

My biggest collection, as you might guess, consists of books.  I have more books than I can count; I still haven't unpacked all of them.  I don't have the bookcases for them, and, to accommodate them, I need built-in bookcases--floor-to-ceiling--in every room of my house.  Some of them are so old (before acid-free paper) that I'm afraid to open them because they might crumble into bits.  Some of them are irreplaceable--they've been out of print for ages. 

I know--I can find nearly anything in print on the Internet.  But that doesn't quite equate.  I like the leisure of sitting in a comfy chair, reading a book.  The Internet is great for research, but, for pleasure, I'd rather engage in the physical act of turning the pages.

I wonder where this urge to collect comes from.  I don't take my things out of the China cabinet or the shadowboxes and admire them.  Really, I hardly think about these things until I have to pack them to move.  Then I wonder why I keep them at all.  What they  do, though, is evoke memories, so that, when I take them out and look at them, I remember who gave this to me and when.  They are the tangible evidence of my connection to people who are important to me. 

That Crazy Little Thing Called "Love"...

You know (or maybe you don't), I'm a cynic when it comes to love. Most of the time, I think it's just raging hormones, or some kind of delusional hysteria that seizes people and makes them crazy for a while. Sooner or later, my cynical self thinks, it's going to wear off, and then there will be hell to pay.

But, when it works, it's great. My mom and dad have been married for 60 years. I don't know if that's because they love each other, or because they're stubborn. My dad won't divorce my mom because he doesn't want to split the assets; my mom won't divorce my dad because she wouldn't have anyone to torment. I don't know...They might really love each other. I hope they do. Otherwise, why live under the same roof?

I have many friends who have been married for a coon's age (a little southernism there!), but I also know people who have been divorced just as long. Take me, for example. I've been divorced longer than I was married. I liked being married, but I like being single, too.

My observations about other peoples' relationships put me off. I listen to my friends talk about their relationships--he doesn't put the toilet lid down; she won't let me go out with my buds; he's a tacky dresser; she's too flirtatious. I throw my hands up. Who am I to give relationship advice? But I will say this--anyone who goes into a relationship thinking he/she can change the other person is delusional. Any behaviorist will tell you that a person has to want to change; we can't make that person change. "If you loved me, you'd..." No. It doesn't work that way.

For example, people in the throes of an addiction will not give up that addiction until they are ready. Love has nothing to do with it. Your partner might love you more than you know, but s/he won't give up alcohol for you and that love because s/he can't--until s/he's ready. Likewise, a person who likes to spend more money than his/her significant other makes won't stop, even if the other cuts up the credit cards. A compulsive spender will find a way--until s/he decides to stop.

It's taken me my entire adult life to figure this out. I'm not sure I could apply it within the confines of a relationship. Knowing something intellectually and applying it practically are two different things. I can sit in my nice little house feeling smug, but, to tell the truth, I'm positive I'm no different from anyone else.

Probably the reason I have cats...

For my dear friends who married today, long life and long love to you. I have faith that you'll be two of the lucky ones.

Feast or Famine

Truly, I'm not much of a party person.  I'm happy just to stay at my house, puttering around inside or outside, hanging on the computer,  writing, reading, knitting...fill in the blanks.

I don't mind driving--I like it--but, if I never had to stir out of my house, that would be fine with me.  I have enough people contact through teaching, phone calls, and the Internet.  Periodically, I work at the bookstore and reconnect with my friends there, or spend time at my parents' house, visiting with them and my siblings.  And, of course, I love to go to Austin to visit my kids.  So, I'm not without human contact, but I try not to be overwhelmed by it.

I used to give my Advanced Comp students an assignment at the beginning of the semester--to spend an entire day by themselves.  I cannot tell you the number of stunned looks I got.  "What?  You want me to spend a day by myself?  See a movie by myself?  Eat by myself? Shop by myself?"  I couldn't understand their reactions.  Who wouldn't revel in a day all to him- or herself?

Well, obviously, quite a few people, as it turned out.  I discovered that many people don't like to be alone.  Some of my students couldn't figure out what to do with the time, though I did have a couple of female students, who had small children, who loved it.  They could tell their husbands/boyfriends/parents that it was an assignment for a course--they HAD to do it for an essay they were writing--and that gave them a reason to take a "personal" day.  I had one student who went to the bookstore where I worked, ordered a cup of coffee, and spent about six hours reading, writing, and watching people.  She enjoyed it so much that she told her husband she wanted time off one day of the weekend, every weekend, for herself.  And she got it!

I don't understand the aversion to being alone.  It's thinking time; it's recharging time.  With all of the energy I expend teaching and talking, I need that time to regroup!  I'm getting more of it this semester than any semester in seven years, and I'm so grateful for it.  I know if I have to go back to a four-day week in the fall, I will miss my solitude.

Why I Prefer Cats...

I said something witty about this is class the other day, and I feel compelled to write about it.

A cat will never try to be what it is not. It will not be a dog (though cats can growl). It will not seek attention unless it wants it. A cat will leave you alone until it deigns to acknowledge your presence and will suffer your attention until its had enough. A cat will not turn out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. It is what it is.

A cat will not tell you it's off catnip when it's not. Cats don't hide their addictions or fascinations. If they catch something--a bird, a mouse, a rat--they will proudly drop it at your feet, alive or dead. They do not hoard or hide things from you.

A cat will not tell you where it has been, even if you ask. So you don't have to hear all the sordid details about what it did last night or where it went or who it was with. A cat will come in, eat something, then stretch out on the sofa for a nap.

A cat will not borrow the car, get drunk, and wreck it. It will not borrow the car to go visit its other caretaker. It won't take your car and run off to California with someone it just met yesterday.

When a cat gets sick, it doesn't whine. It will let you schlep it to the vet's office and will sleep until it recovers. It does not expect you to wait on it hand and foot.

Cats don't pretend to listen to you. They don't listen. A cat will do what it wants to do and make no pretense of caring what you think. Cats only pay attention if you pick up a spray bottle full of water and threaten to wet them if they don't cease and desist. But, the minute your back is turned, they'll do exactly what they want.

You can leave a cat alone for a week, as long as you leave it plenty of food and water and a clean litter box. It won't invite the gang in for a party because it doesn't know how to dial the phone on purpose. A cat won't run up your phone bill and will only send email accidentally.

If a cat is mad at you, it will let you know--really--in messy and obvious ways.

I'm sure I haven't covered everything. If you read this and think of something to add, leave a comment!

Weather Weirdness...

Yesterday, in my office, I nearly froze.  Today, I'm at home with the windows opened.  What's up with that?  Is it global warming, or just Louisiana weather?

Tomorrow, the weather is supposed to be the same, with some rain added.  Saturday, the temperature's supposed to go down to the 40s with rain.  I'm getting tired of the yo-yoing temperatures.

I may have to go outside for a while and sit in the sun.  I filled up the bird feeders today; they usually feed early in the morning and about five-ish or so.  I put out black-oiled sunflower seeds--the Cardinals like those, so I'm hoping to see my usual flock this afternoon.

As for me, I have a sinus headache because the weather is about to change--again.  Maybe the chili I'm cooking will help knock it out!

****

I picked up a copy of The Reader by Bernhard Schlink yesterday (for my book group; yes, the one the movie is based on), as well as a copy of two of Charlaine Harris' vampire novels, Dead Until Dark and Living Dead in Dallas (the basis for True Blood on HBO).  I've resisted reading the vampire books because everyone seems to be on the bandwagon because of Stephanie Meyers' books.  I like these types of books, but I'm resisting the temptation to get out my red pen to correct the punctuation.  It's driving me crazy, especially the comma use.  Gack!  I'm such a comma geek!

Hwy 1 Blues

I had a long day today. I was in my office at the college before 9:30am, kept my office hours, taught my two classes, and then headed to the bookstore to help with reducing inventory (sending books back to publishers).

After I put in about three hours packing books, I made the mistake of going into the grocery store for "just cat food." Hah! When have I ever been able to get out of the store with "just one thing"? After staring at the wine, debating over which bread to buy for my lunch sandwiches, and sifting through the egg cartons to find a whole unbroken carton, I checked out, loaded my groceries, and headed down the road, a half-hour later than I should have.

Which was fine, really, until I hit the Caddo/Red River Parish line and sat in traffic for another half-hour. Seems that a dump truck burned up on the road (I hope the driver wasn't hurt), and the state police were trying to gather as much evidence as they could and move the dump truck on a large flatbed trailer.

Hwy 1 doesn't seem that busy most of the time. But when a half-hour's worth of traffic backs up, one begins to see just how many people travel that road. And, of course, all those people who were slowed down because of the accident then became aggressive drivers, speeding to make up for lost time. The whole thing was nuts.

I love driving a two-lane road, really. When I go to Austin to visit my kids, I always take the "back roads." They are busy, but not as frantic as the interstate. But accidents clog up a back road. It's hard to clear wrecks and harder to get rescue vehicles around all those stopped cars. Patience is the mantra during those times. I just turned off the engine and sat in the glow of all the cars behind me.

New Semester Looms...

I'm ready for at least the first two months! And, of course, I have all kinds of projects in the works that I need to hop on.

But this is the last weekend of the break. The good news is that I only teach on campus on Mondays and Wednesdays, so I have a semester of four-day weekends. Maybe I can squeeze in a couple of trips to Austin--I might be able to go to SXS, which takes place the week before our spring break. That would be great, since I've never been.

My students have already begun signing on to the course sites, so I'm hoping some of them will be prepared Monday and will understand the mechanics of the class. This might fall into the category of "wishful thinking," but I can hope, at least.

Course-wise, I'm ready. Mentally? I'm not sure.

The paperwhites are blooming, as is the Japonica (Flowering Quince). Weird weather!

Letting Go

I'm not the kind of person who makes New Year's resolutions, for a number of reasons.  Primarily, I just don't think that resolving to do something means that I will do it.  If I want to change, I have to commit to it, and making a resolution does not equal commitment.  If I'm going to make a change, I make the commitment, then do it.  No fanfare required, no teary "confession" regarding the error of my ways.  As the Nike commercial exhorts, "Just do it."

Do I need to make changes in my life?  Oh, yeah.  I need to exercise, quit smoking, eat healthier (cut out refined sugar!)--the list extends out the front door.  But until I'm ready to do these things, they just remain items on a list.  Knowing I need to do these things doesn't equal committing to them.  I beat myself over the head with them until I give in or learn to ignore them.  And I'm an expert in ignoring things!

I do sneaky things to make myself aware of my needs--keep the weights out where I can see them, replace the white sugar with raw sugar (I can't stand that artificial stuff), drink water as much as possible (cut off the caffeine after the morning dose), walk around my yard to pick up sticks.  If I do these subtle things, I can trick myself into getting healthier without consciously knowing that's what I'm doing.  I know--I should just face up to it.  But it's easier for me to make these as "unconscious" as possible.  The changes need to seem natural and painless.  If I gradually sneak these things into my routine, they become a natural part of the day instead of things I have to "make time for."

If you need to make changes, "Just Do It."  Don't agonize.  Make the commitment and move on.

Post-Christmas Doldrums

My children and Dot's boyfriend, Pete, spent Christmas night with me, which was great. And, as soon as they pulled out of the driveway in the '84 Mercedes, I realized I didn't take any pictures. I have a good digital camera, but I never think about taking pics. Dumb, but...

My parents and I exchanged money for Christmas. I gave them some to do whatever they want; I used the money they give me to buy what I haven't bought for a while--new socks, unmentionables, new cookie sheets and a muffin tin, some bird food for the wild birds--that kind of stuff. And after Christmas sales are good, so I can get some things I need cheaply.

I'm ready for at least the first month of every class--well, really, for the first month-and-a-half. I do have schedules and syllabi completed. I just need to update future modules on Moodle. But I'm ready to go.

The USA network has been my friend with marathons of "House" and "NCIS." So I have something to amuse me. And, when that gets boring, I just pop in a movie. Truly, though, I've just been coasting, working out some ideas for an online Freshman Comp class (well, a hybrid for the first semester, then online 100%).

I'm reading The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, billed as one of the best books of 2008. It's a retelling of Hamlet with dogs. The writing is exquisite. I've knitted four scarves, gave three to my kids and Pete, and I'm working on a pair of socks. I'm trying not to cook anymore. My freezer is full. I need to eat what I've already put aside before I try to stuff any more in there!

That's it. I've had a quiet holiday, which is what I prefer. If the wind and rain ever stop, I might build up the burn pile and have a bonfire for New Year's Day.

Christmas, Anyone? Anyone?

I'm not in the Christmas spirit, really. It's not one of my favorite holidays, mostly because it's lost meaning for too many people. In such a bad economy, too, I just don't have the money to spend frivolously--after the dentist wiped out any extra money I made this semester--and, besides, the people in my family can buy what they want for themselves. I sent my children money, as I always do, because they know what they need/want. I refrain from cluttering up their lives with useless "things." They're not into owning "things" that don't serve a purpose. I applaud that, and I try to emulate it.

And the weather has been screwy--can you say "global warming"? One day, the rain freezes as it falls from the sky; the next day, I open the doors and windows to move the air around because it's so sultry.

Today, I've been baking (should have done that on a cold day!) Cowboy Cookies. I divided the dough in half, added cranberries and raisins to one half, then added chocolate and peanut butter chips to the other. The basic dough includes oats, and I added nuts. They're yummy, and I need to give them away fast, before I eat them all. I also made some "no-bake" cookies called "Carolina Delights." They require oats, unsweetened chocolate, butter, sugar, peanut butter. Also yummy. I'll probably bake bread tomorrow and include that in what I bring to my mom's on Christmas Day.

You can find the cookie recipes on allrecipes.com. I've been trying out a bunch of recipes I've found there. I get in such a rut with cooking that I decided I needed to venture into new territory. I've also been pulling out my cookbooks and trying some new dishes. I made a pot of Cuban Black Beans yesterday. I'm making full batches and freezing what I don't eat immediately. That way, when the new semester begins, I'll have my lunches cooked. A good way to save money. I've also been making my own vegetable and chicken stock for soups and stews. Those freeze well, too.

To help my mood, I've tuned into Turner Classic Movies. I've already seen "The Bells of St. Mary's"; TCM has "A Christmas Carol" with Reginald Owen on right now, and, after this, comes "Scrooge" with Albert Finney, my all-time-favorite version of "A Christmas Carol., next to "The Muppet Christmas Carol," of course! So, maybe that will help. I'm just waiting for them to play "Holiday Inn." That movie lets me know that Christmas is here! And, of course, no Christmas is complete without "It's a Wonderful Life," the original with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

Anyway, no matter what holiday you celebrate, even if you don't celebrate any holiday, have a safe and happy day! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus!

Welcome to Louisiana!

You know, I can't figure out why, in a state that ranks low in health care and education, the first things to be cut in a budget crisis are--you guessed it!--health care and education.

So, our university is slated for a $1.9 million budget slash beginning on January 1, 2009--in the middle of a year. What I saw on the news (so I'm not giving away any secrets here) is that the chancellor is cutting operational costs (oops! no paper for the copiers!) and some adjunct positions. But the schedule for the spring is already set, and I can't see how cutting adjuncts would help. We don't have enough personnel in our department to pick up all those extra classes, and, even if we did, the staff would mutiny at having to pick up extra classes without extra money. The college can't save money by cutting adjuncts and paying full-time professors for an overload. No savings there.

The U could just cancel some of the classes and up the enrollment in the others. And for someone who teaches mostly writing classes, adding five more people to each class would be the equivalent of teaching another full-time class. I already spend most of my "off" time grading papers. Adding more students to any of my classes, including the on line classes, just increases the amount of time I spend grading/reading papers. [And, actually, the university did increase the number of students in my on line freshman comp class from 22 to 25--the spring class has 26 students, one of which is an AEP high school enrollee]. Well, I guess I could give up a couple of hours of sleep a night, but maybe I'll just reduce the number of assignments I grade.

It's a trade off, I know. But I think the legislators should get rid of all their pork barrel spending before they ask us to lose personnel and services. I wonder how much of their last budget included bridges to nowhere or city parks named after them.

Now What?

I've posted final grades and submitted them to my respective departments.

So, what now?

When someone (me) is used to working 18 hours a day, an unstructured day can be a curse. Last night, after I averaged my grades, I picked up my knitting needles and knitted a scarf (big needles, chunky yarn), then began another. I can knit a skinny scarf in an evening and can make scarves in many colors for gifts or for myself. I'll do more knitting because I've ignored it this semester. I won't ignore my writing, but knitting can be just as therapeutic.

I need to start planning my Christmas baking. I usually bake chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies, but I may try something different this year. Still need to make the CC, though; people in my family depend on those.

But, I think, for the next few days, I will just hunker down and do as little as possible. That might be difficult for me, but I'm going to do my best to work less.

Finished!

Except for posting the grades in Compass...

I just finished reading the worst set of essays I've ever read.  It's as though they universally forgot everything I told them about writing essays--no thesis statements (or lame ones), no proofreading--you name it.  And I told them that.  I believe in truth.  And I let them know why I thought that, too.

Well, at least I'm done for now.  I don't have any more papers to grade for the semester. 

After I post the grades, I'm going to write for a while, maybe take a nap, maybe bake some banana bread.  I don't know.  I think I'll just wait a while before I jump into the "getting ready for next semester" mode, though I did sneak into that yesterday in a desperate attempt to NOT grade those essays.

****

Yesterday, I did manage to grade an entire set of finals for my Intro to Fiction class.  That was one of the best classes this semester.  My students were funny.  I always have to overcome the "I don't think fiction is important" mentality--a challenge--before we get down to business.  By the end of this semester, though, some of my students were writing 14-page papers (and they're not English majors!); they still need help with thesis statements, but at least they're thinking and developing opinions.  And they'll disagree with me and one another, which is fine as long as they can support their ideas.

I'm just ready for a break.  Teaching five classes--four of them writing classes--is not a picnic.  I taught a freshman comp & lit course online for the first time this semester and that was a challenge, too, though I automated most of the quizzes so I didn't have to grade a ton of papers--just a couple of writing assignments each week.

In the spring, I'm going in two days a week (I hope that doesn't change), and teaching two on line classes; in the fall, if I get the freshman comp (part 1) on line, I'll be prepping four classes and teaching three on line.  I must be crazy.

I do like teaching on line, but I like face-to-face interactions, too.  On line teaching allows me the freedom to work from home, but I like seeing my students and talking with them.  If I could only get more of them to use Skype, that would be good. 

Well, time for more coffee and to tackle a novel.  Later....

Another No-Grade Day, Kind Of...

Really, I've just been monitoring the course evaluations from my Advanced Comp students.  They get 10 points just for turning in their opinions.  I read them after I post their grades.  They can say whatever they want; even if I did read course evals before the end of the semester, I don't grade students on their opinions about my teaching or my class.  I grade the work they turn in.  They get the grades they earn.

At the beginning of every semester, I tell my students that, if they want an A, they need to start working on it from the first day.  Somehow, they don't hear that.  I always get a few emails from students at the end asking me to please, please, please, "give" them an A, even if they're four points away from it.  Or could I please, please, please let them do extra credit work to "earn" the A. Well, during finals week, I'm up to my armpits in papers, so when am I supposed to have time to grade "extra" work?  True, I've had a couple of "no grade" days, but I've earned them at this point.  It's enough that I have to go back and make sure I've graded everything I should have and given students the points they truly have earned.  I don't have time for "extra" assignments--to devise them or to grade them.

So, today, while I've been monitoring evaluations, I've baked blueberry muffins and made a pot of lentils.  I've been noodling with my writing--though I need to keep at it more diligently.  Tomorrow, I don't have any papers to grade, but I do have a set of essays coming in around midnight, and I have my last exam Thursday at 8am (yikes--I have to get up at 5am and leave by 6:30am to give myself enough time to wake up).  But, after that, all I have to do is grade, average grades, and post them.  Then I can sleep for a week or so.

And then comes Christmas, New Year's, and a new semester.  And I have to get ready for that--but not before I take some time to not work!

A No-Grade Day

I didn't have any papers to grade today. I did have some things to do for a couple of courses, but I worked on those at my leisure and will update the grade book tomorrow.

So, what did I do? I cleaned out litter boxes; I washed clothes and area rugs; I cleaned up the piles that accumulated while I was grading papers and writing a novel. I dyed my hair (long overdue, because the patch of gray on the right side was beginning to show big time). In general, I "frittered" away the day, much to my delight. I haven't had a day like this in ages.

Friday, I baked a chicken, and, I have to say, it's the best chicken I've ever cooked. Then I simmered the carcass to make a soup stock. Today, I continued cooking the leftover meat off the bones, added some onions and celery, and further rendered the stock. I froze some of it for future use, then made a pot of chicken and rice soup. Yum! I also whipped up some bread dough, and I'll bake that tomorrow. I'll enjoy my soup with some great no-fuss artisan bread. I'll chow down on that while I'm grading the two sets of papers that are coming in, even as I write this.

All together, a productive and stress-free day for me. I know it hasn't been for the students whose papers are due tonight and tomorrow, but the semester is almost over for them. It's crunch time for me, so I might as well eat well while I'm doing my work.

Grading Papers...

That's what I should be doing, but I keep finding other things to do--going to the grocery store, defrosting a chicken, making coffee, cooking lunch, washing clothes...

I have a set of papers to grade today. Saturday night, I have two sets of essays due; Sunday, I have one set of essays due; Monday, I have a final exam to give and a set of course evaluations due; Tuesday, I have a set of course evaluations due; Wednesday, I have a set of finals due; Thursday, I have a final exam to give at 8am.

I need to have all of these papers graded, grades averaged and posted by 10am on Monday, Dec. 15. Eeek! I'll have them done if I can just make myself work.

On the other hand, it's a beautiful, cold day. My house is a wreck because I've ignored it all semester. I have several novels to work on. I can find so much to distract me right now, right at the moment I can't afford to be distracted.

Time to get the blinders out. Work takes precedence.

The Semester Careens to a Close...

As much as I like my students, I'm always excited when the semester ends because that means a new semester is about to begin. And, somewhere between the two, I might actually have a couple of days where I don't have to do ANY coursework, though I will be setting up my spring courses, making out schedules, etc. But I can glean several days where I'm not tied to the computer grading papers or answering endless frantic emails about why someone didn't submit an assignment, or how I just HAVE to pass someone because he/she NEEDS to pass the class to keep his/her scholarship, financial aid, job, whatever.

I think, over the holidays, I'm going to work up a Word file of standard replies. Then, when I get these kinds of emails, I can just cut and paste my responses. It will cut down on the time required to respond to emails.

Another thing I think I'm going to do is make a list of "Ms. Smith's Acronyms" so I can just use initials instead of spelling things out, kind of like text messaging abbreviations. For example, "NMM" stands for "Not My Monkey," which, translated, can mean several things, depending on the context. It could mean "Not my problem," or it could mean, "I don't know what you expect me to do about it," or it could also mean, "I don't care why you didn't submit the work; I'm not grading it." See what I mean?

And "NSS" stands for "No S**t, Sherlock," meaning that the statement (usually the thesis statement in an essay) is so obvious that it doesn't need to be written. An example of this is, "William Shakespeare is considered one of the greatest writers of all times, and that means that 'Othello' is one of the greatest plays of all times." Trust me, I get these all the time. [I have to credit my friend, Nicole--she uses this in her classes, and, when she mentioned it, I thought I'd borrow it.] A good translation, and a more polite one, would be "Duh."

Another of my favorites is "SOL." The polite translation is "So out of luck," but it really translates to "S**t out of luck," which means, of course, that the student's goose is cooked. It's one of my favorite acronyms, really, and I try to use it whenever I can.

That would be fun for me, but I hope my students have a collective sense of humor. And, even if they didn't--my class, my rules.

Now just to get all of these assignments graded, grades posted and turned in. Just a week to go. Whoo-hoo!

A Totally Satisfying Turkey Day...

Greetings from Austin, Texas, the Music Capital of America! 

Unbeknownst to me, my daughter is no longer a strict vegetarian, so my Turkey Day wasn't all veggies.  We went to a nice gathering with tons of great food--turkey included--and chowed down.  I'm still full.

After dinner, we worked off the calories by bowling on the Wii.  It was fun, but just confirmed what a lousy bowler I am!

While my NaNoWriMo novel sits for a week or two, I have two other novels employing the same characters--one is complete, the other is about 112 pages and needs to be finished.  All are in great need of editing, so I've been working on the first two, but I also began another novel in the urban vampire genre, which is probably a bit overdone right now with Twilight and True Blood, but I have a different angle I'm working on.  I have about 11,000 + words (about 45 pages or so).  So, I keep writing or revising.  I'm getting myself in the habit of writing/editing about two hours every day--some days, I write longer than others, depending on what else I need to do.  But establishing the habit is the hard part, so that's what I'm working on--to get in the habit.

As a teacher, I have to be disciplined--those papers don't grade themselves, and I hate grading papers!  It's time-consuming.  My students often tell me that I don't need to give them the work, but, if I don't, I can't give them grades.  It's a no-brainer.  I can't grade them on personalities--that just wouldn't be fair to the shy ones.

I haven't been so disciplined with my writing--as a poet, I wrote when I had something to say, and only then.  I didn't constantly write poems, either.  But, with prose, I have to write to develop the plot and the characters--that takes more time, so I have to set aside the time to get it done.

Okay, my fingers hurt, as does my back, so I'm going to stop for now.  I've finished grading a set of essays and have been writing for about four hours--and this is supposed to be a break!  But, I guess, writers never stop writing.

Hope you've had a restful and yummy holiday.

Enough Said!

Novel Update...

I have "finished" my novel, in the sense that I've written the last first-draft word. I uploaded it to NaNoWriMo for a validation count, and the robocounters came up with 64,155 words; Word counted 64,259, but I think Word was counting the Roman Numeral headings.

Does that mean I'm "finished" with it? No. All writers should know that the real work begins after the initial draft is "done." So now what?

Well, I think, while I'm waiting for NaNoWriMo to end (Nov. 30), that I'm going to let it sit. I already know what I need to do to remedy the plot, and I've made copious notes on that. I have several other novels that are in various stages of revision, and I need to work on those. I also have an idea for another novel, and I could spend some time on that. I don't want to get too far away from the NaNo novel, though. But I've got the writing jones now, and I feel as though I need to keep the momentum of this month.

Whenever I hear myself say, "I don't have time to write," I know I'm lying. If I can write 64,000 words and teach five classes, I don't have an excuse. What I need to do is to reserve those two hours a day for writing no matter what's going on.

I've been stealing time where I can. Some days, I write before I grade papers. Other days, I try writing in half-hour bursts between grading papers. I think it requires both discipline and flexibility in equal measure--the discipline to just do it, and the flexibility to fit it around all the other stuff I need to do.

Writing is hard work. I can't deny that. Some days, after I've put in the two hours and graded two sets of papers, my mind feels like mush, and I feel as though I've run a marathon. My muscles ache, especially my arms, fingers and neck, from sitting at a keyboard with minimal breaks. I've added stretching to my routine to work out the kinks.

I don't know what I "win" for completing this--probably a few "atta-girls" and the congratulations of my writing buddies. But I feel as though I've done something, and that's the best prize of all.

NaNoWriMo Update...again

As of 12:06AM on Nov. 16, I have 48,386 words. I'm not even close to being finished, so I'll just keep writing until I end it. NaNo doesn't end until Nov. 30, so I'll let you know how many words I have when NaNo ends--the official count.

Half a month to go!

Update: as of 2:30pm on Sunday, I have 50,093 words. I've met my goal, but the novel's not finished, so I'll just keep going until I come to the end.

I'll give you a final count when I'm "finished."

NaNoWriMo Update...Nov. 14

As of 3:00PM, I have 40, 263 words. Wow. And I'm not even close to being finished with this novel. I only need 50,000 words for NaNo, but that's not going to get me to the halfway point of the book, so I'm just going to keep typing until I find the end. If I just keep writing, I'll have plenty of stuff I can cut out when I revise. I must revise in December.

I think I'm finding a plot. It's taking longer than I planned. Maybe I need to work it out more clearly, but I think I want to wait until I get through with NaNo. I don't want to stop until I've at least reached 50,000 words or more. The plot can wait until later.

I'm hoping that I'll have 50,000 words tomorrow. I have tons of papers to grade this next week, so I may not get much of my own writing done.

I'll update when I reach my next milestone--45,000 words.

I'm a Broken Record...

Total count as of 10pm tonight, 30, 164 words.

I don't know how I'm doing it, but I am. I still don't think I have a plot, but I'll worry about that in December when NaNoEdMo starts--the month of editing. I think I know where it's going, but I'm waiting for my characters to tell me.

November 15 is the write-a-thon. Two hours, again, of writing, but it helps to do this with a group, even a small one.

I have several days without papers to grade, but, come Saturday night, I'll have stacks and stacks. But I think I can manage those and still get my 50,000 words. I have time. I do not, however, want to let myself think that I can goof off.

I need to take a shower and sleep. I'm suddenly soooooo tired!

NaNoWriMo Update, Nov. 9

Total words as of 6:29pm: 25,418. I'm at the halfway point, but I need to read/grade two sets of papers.

Hooray!

NaNoWriMo Update...Nov. 6

Total words as of 10:53pm--16,420.

I managed to put in two hours today. Alas, I didn't grade any papers. I'll do those in the morning and write for several hours when I'm through with those.

I just need to keep plugging away.

Our little get-together last night was fun. We burned an effigy for Guy Fawkes Day. We couldn't get our effigy to burn until we slit his guts opened with a knife to expose his newspaper stuffing. But, once we did that, he burned perfectly.

The food and the company were both excellent. I haven't had a night out in a couple of weeks, so I was due. Didn't get home until 10:40pm. After I unloaded the groceries, put them away and fed the cats, I had to take a shower and go straight to bed. I stayed up on election night. I've had 12 hours sleep in two days.

I think I need a nap.

NaNoWriMo Update...Nov. 4

As of 5pm today, I have officially written 12, 458 words. That's about 3,ooo words per day for four days. I've been taking two hours a day--getting up early, or stealing two hours from grading papers. I've also spread out the assignments that are coming in so I have a day (tomorrow!) where I don't have to grade/read anything. But I am going to a party for my friend and colleage, Dr. Nicole Peeler, who just found out she has a three-book deal with a real publisher! I'm psyched for her (and a bit jealous)! But she deserves it, and I feel lucky to know a "real" author (fiction, even). Maybe I can learn something from her.

I'm just going to plug away at this novel I'm writing until the end of November, and then I'll worry about what I have.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. The goal is at least 50,000 words by Nov. 30.

NaNoWriMo Begins...

I'm proud of myself. I've written around 3,000 words today--most of them between 11-1 at Barnes & Noble for our official kickoff for National Novel Writing Month. I've never been a participant before, but it seems like a fun way to force myself to write. Now, if I can just find two hours a day to add to this novel, I'll have my projected 50,000 words by Nov. 30.

I read a blog today that suggested the best way to get 2,000 words a day is to write 500 words four times a day. I think I can do the morning thing if I get up early enough, or if I just take two hours after I get home from school. But, if I can't find a two-hour chunk of time, thirty minutes four times a day is doable, I think. I just need to plan well. I have a feeling, though, that I'll be doing most of this in the wee hours of the morning when I should be sleeping! So, if I'm dragging myself around during the day, that's why. But I'll try not to let it interfere with grading my papers or being perky in class.

I don't anticipate that this will go anywhere, but anything that helps me write more is good. I teach writing, but seldom have time or energy to do it. I just need to make the time because its important to my creative self.

I'll keep you posted on my success or failure. Either way, just attempting it is good.

Believe it or don't...

I actually had one day when I didn't have to grade papers!  So, what did I do?  I wrote lectures and recorded podcasts.  Sounds like fun, huh?

The day was gorgeous, and I was inside.  What was I thinking?  Today, however, is also beautiful, and I have three + sets of papers.  But, you know what?  I'm going outside for a while anyway.  The papers will wait--the grass won't.  I need to mow one more time before the cold weather comes.  I think the temp is going to 37 or something on Monday night.  Winter all ready?  That was fast.  That probably means we're in for a cold one.

I slept until 10:30am on Friday, but I didn't go to bed until 2am, so I think that's not too late.  On the weekends, I get my times screwed up, and have to adjust when Monday comes.  Next semester, though, if all goes well, I'll only be teaching on campus on Mondays and Wednesdays, and my first class doesn't begin until noon.  But that means I'll probably need to be on campus by 10am, since I can't count common hour as an office hour (which I think is stupid, but I'm not "the boss").  I'll have more time for my online classes, which, sadly, I don't this semester.  I'm usually all over them, but I've had too many other tasks that needed my attention. 

Podcasting, which I've just started doing, is fun, but requires time and energy.  The good thing is that I've got the podcasts done, and I can use them next semester for my class, since they aren't dated.  I still need to record podcasts for all of the drama sections, but those will be forthcoming.

I heard the dryer buzz, so I need to fold clothes.  I'll go out for a while, then jump right on those papers.  Sigh... Thanksgiving is right around the corner--I think a trip to Austin is in order.

End of Break--Sigh!

Of course, it wasn't much of a break for me.  I graded papers every day, sometimes three sets.  I've missed the beautiful weather, something I intend to rectify when I'm through writing this blog.

Our "surprise" dinner was a surprise.  We managed to fool my father--if we can do that, we've accomplished something!  He was more surprised than anyone.

The staff at Monjuni's (the original one on Louisiana Ave.) did an excellent job. The food was excellent, and they added a special touch by giving my parents cards signed by the entire staff and by putting flowers on the tables.  We had one waiter, Chris, who did an excellent job of taking care of us.  I hope he enjoyed the huge tip we left him--it was probably as much as the bill!

About 30 of us managed to make it; a few of my brothers and sisters couldn't--working or out-of-state--or wouldn't, but I did finally get to see my two new grand-nieces, Camille and Emma.  The newest grand-nephew, Colton, was just born last week and lives in Atlanta.

All together, a great evening.

What the Heck?

What day is this?  I have no idea.  Oh, yeah, the last day of classes this week--ah, it's fall break!

Well, if anyone cares, instead of a fall break, I'd rather have a week off for Thanksgiving.  But no one asked me.

This will, I hope, give me time to "catch up" with anything I've fallen behind on--podcasts and worksheets and new Moodle sections, oh, my!

Then, again, maybe I can catch up on some sleep (yeah, right).

So, what's happened since I last wrote? 

I "met" the racoon who has been finishing off the cat food in my laundry room.  The feral mama cat has had another litter of five.  I trapped two cats and took them to the Humane Society.  I need to trap two more, then the mom and the babies.  I need to get that mother cat out of here.  She and her babies are eating me out of any disposable income I have.

Oh, yeah, and I went to the dentist this morning to finally have a  temporary crown put on a tooth.  I ate the crown off of the tooth, and it's taken a month to get an appointment for the temporary.  So, I called the dentist this morning to make sure I still had an appointment.  Yes, I did.  So, I got dressed and went to brush my teeth and swish the mouthwash.  I brushed; I rinsed.  Clunk!  The filling in the tooth the dentist was going to work on fell out.  Damn.  But, in the greater scheme of things, that just made things easier for the dentist.  So, I now have my temporary crown, and I only owe the dentist $221 dollars for the permanent one.  Another reason I don't have any disposable income.

On the plus side, my mom and dad are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary tomorrow.  We're surprising them with dinner on Saturday.  And, no, I'm not worried about writing that here.  They don't read my blog.  I don't think they know I have a blog or what a blog is, for that matter!

I feel slightly manic, but that's probably all of the coffee I've had today.  Since I don't have to get up early in the morning, I can drink all the coffee I want.  Ha ha ha ha ha....

Brain Farts...

Here it is, nearly 11pm on a Wednesday, and I haven't stopped working since I got home, somewhere around 4pm.  I left the college late because I spent extra time in my English class, going over thesis statements for the first paper. 

Tomorrow, after a meeting in the chair's office, I need to go to the bookstore.  They always manage to call me with a frantic request to come in when I'm swamped.  And the manager who calls me with these frantic requests always uses the sucker line, "Since you've stopped working full time, we just can't find anyone to replace you."  This time, he told me that they'd recently hired four people, but they still can't get the work done.  My response?  "You're not hiring the right people."

So, I'll spend four hours trying to "fix" what can't be fixed, come home exhausted from heavy lifting, sit down and do the same thing I've been doing for a month.  I'm reading final copies of essays I've read twice, marking what I marked in the first two drafts because my students aren't paying attention, or maybe they just don't think they need to make the changes I suggest.  The grades on these essays are lower than those from previous semesters.  I've made up my mind that this won't be a walk in the park for my students.  Employers demand good writers.  I'm not going to pass people who can't do the work.  

I want my students to succeed; but I don't do them any service by giving them high marks for work that wouldn't pass muster in any business environment.  I wonder if they realize that any boss in any company would doubt a person's competence if that person handed him/her some of the stuff I get.

I'm adamant that the reason many students can't write is because they don't read.  Watching/listening to TV can't make up for that.  If the actors in these shows would put the punctuation in their lines, maybe that would help.  Could you imagine this: "Jim comma did you locate the murder weapon question mark" "No comma June comma I haven apostrophe t yet period"  I still don't think that would help.

Another problem is that many students don't think about what they write--maybe it's unfamiliar to them in that context.  When we write, we have to pay attention.  We can't just run at the pen the way we run at the mouth.  If we say something nonsensical, people usually don't call us on it.  If we write nonsensical things, and someone is paying attention and thinking, we're not going to get away with it. 

My frustration rises, especially when I've pointed out mistakes and provided methods to correct them, and students ignore my suggestions.  I'm not being difficult; I'm trying to help them succeed and impress the people who can help them with their careers.

I talked to a colleague the other day who was practically banging her head on the bathroom wall because her students didn't understand that they had to produce a perfect resume.  They couldn't understand how a comma made a difference.  I told her to find a willing HR director at some desirable company and ask that person to read the resumes and pass judgment.  Who would he/she hire?  My colleague liked that idea.  I think that would impress upon her students the difference a comma can make.

Sunday Morning, Coming Down...

Well, no, not really.  And it's Sunday afternoon at the moment.  I'm "killing time" before my next online office hour.

I haven't been blogging much because I'VE BEEN WORKING!  Yes, working.  I'm trying to remember everything I've done since Thursday night, but I have to look at my list of "Things to Do" because my memory is shot.

I read a set of essays for my online 226 class, first drafts of their first essay; I've graded a set of writing assignments for my 115 online class and a forum that closed yesterday.  I've read two sets of blogs for my 226 classes, and I've been monitoring the online classes' critiques.  I wrote a lecture to introduce the poetry module for my online 115, and I created a podcast for said lecture.  I've been making out midterms and updating my Moodle course sites, too.

Oh, and I mowed the grass this morning after I raked up some of the fallen branches.  Managed to stall out the mower once, when I suddenly realized I hadn't picked up the water hoses and sprinklers.  Yikes!  I almost ruined my great watering system.

When I look at the list, it doesn't look like much, but then I realized that each of those tasks is labor- and/or brain-intensive.  No wonder I'm so tired right now.  I'd take a nap, but that would probably ruin my sleep tonight, and I need to get up early to go in to the college for a meeting.  I have three meetings scheduled in the next two weeks, all of them are at 11am on a Monday or Wednesday.  I usually don't need to be at school until 12:30pm, but, because of the meetings, I have to leave my house around 9:30am.  Ick.  That means I have to get up early on M/W, and I usually sleep until maybe 8 or 9am those days. Getting substantive work done in my office is nearly impossible because students and colleagues drop by to talk, the phone rings--just pick something. 

And my brother came in from Durango this weekend, so I'll need to drop in at my mom's to visit.  I don't mind this; it's just I wish I could grade papers while I'm driving.

I Called It...

Didn't I say this was the semester from hell? 

I was eating dinner and reading assignments on the computer Saturday night.  I chewed my food and swallowed, and then realized a cap had disappeared from a back molar.  Oh, geez.  I swallowed it.  I hope I crunched it up; the idea of that porcelain crown making its way through my body is frightening. 

So, tomorrow, I need to find a dentist--fast.

Then, I called my daughter this morning to get some information to add her and her brother as beneficiaries to my insurance policies.  I asked her how the previous week went--she's two weeks into her teacher certification program at UT Austin--and she said, rather nonchalantly, "Well, funny you should ask about that.  I was hit by a car on Thursday and couldn't go to class Friday.  But I emailed my teachers to let them know."

Wait a second--back up.  You were hit by a car, and you didn't call me? 

"Well, Mom, he was only going about five miles an hour.  I was crossing Congress [It's a huge, busy street in downtown Austin] and he came around the corner and knocked me down.  I fell on my bicycle [she was pushing it through the crosswalk, trying to get to her bus].  The bus driver called 911.  The EMTs checked me out.  Nothing broken; I'm just bruised and sore."

Enough to make a mother's heart stop.  She acted as though she was talking about a walk in the park.  She was a bit disgruntled, though, because the EMTs offered to give her a $500 ride to the hospital, but no one offered her a ride home!

If she had called me, I'd have been on the way to Austin Friday before the sun rose.  But, really, what could I have done?  Make her tea, get her ice packs, take her to the doctor. I know, she's a grown person; she can take care of herself.  But that's not what worries me--what worries me are those other people, the ones who come around corners and run into my children.  I can't stop them, and I wish I could.

Slouching into Podcasting

I'll admit I'm a bit of a geek.  But I've had some trouble getting interested in podcasting.  Late last night, though, as I was trying to work out strategies for my latest online classes, I took a tour of the Internet and discovered a site called WildVoice Studio.

The software they offer is free to download, and they also offer space on their site to upload podcasts and make them available to anyone who wants to listen to them.  I've recorded two lectures for my freshman composition and literature class, and recorded them badly, but I'm learning how to use music and sound clips.  I can record my presentations for my podcasts and take that MP3 file, turn on my Dragon Naturally Speaking software, play the file, and automatically "type" a lecture I've already posted.  That way, my students can have an audio and text copy of my lecture.

I'm still a little new to this podcasting game, but I think, if I can get organized, I'll be able to learn what I need to know to do more professional podcasts.  My English 115 class online will be my guinea pigs.  I hope they don't mind.

Hello, Gustav!

Technorati Tags: Gustav,wind,trees

The wind is gusting, and the rain is falling, so I guess that means Gustav is here.  I'm sure this is not the worst of it.

I picked up a few small limbs this morning when the wind started, and I'm keeping an eye on all of these large trees in my yard and my neighbor's yard, too, since their limbs often fall into my yard.  I have one huge limb down in the back; it fell about a week ago after another rainstorm. I decided to wait until Gustav did its damage before I began sawing that one up. 

I just hope the electricity holds out and the water drains away.

Batten down the hatches!  Anchors Away!

*****

I think I'm going to sleep in the hall closet tonight.  The rain doesn't scare me, but the wind does. 

I love my tall, old trees, but, when the wind gusts up to 30mph, they're frightening.  Reminds me of the trees in the Haunted Forest in "The Wizard of Oz."

The Anniversary

Three years ago, the Friday before Labor Day, I signed the papers on my house.  Three years ago, the Saturday before Labor Day, I sat on my new front porch, without electricity or gas in the house, watching Hurricane Rita pound my new yard into a lake.  Today, I'm typing this, waiting for Gustav to wreak havoc, just as Katrina and Rita did three years ago.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  My family has been getting phone calls from other family in New Orleans and in Houston; they're making contingency plans in case they need to flee (again).  In Katrina, we lost a great uncle at St. Rita's Nursing Home.  We nearly lost my father's sister, her husband, and their oldest son, our cousin.  They were trapped in their attic when the levee broke down in Violet, LA.  David, my cousin, takes medicine for seizures; he had to be air lifted to Lafayette with his mother.  My uncle ended up in Texas.  It took us a while to find everyone and bring them back together.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out that many, many people still haven't been reunited with all of their family members.

I'm watching the skies and checking my hurricane tracking map regularly.  I mowed the grass today because I wasn't sure when or if I'd be able to do it next week.  Besides, it was knee-high (and I'm not kidding).  I didn't have to mow it at all in July because of the drought, but the recent rains pushed it up.  I don't mind doing it since I bought the riding mower last year.  I can mow this near-acre quickly and meditate while I'm getting it done.

*******

I was so looking forward to a two-day workweek (Well, really, I work every day.  I mean I only had to go into the college two days a week).  I was excited, because I could save on gas.  This summer, I made maybe 10 trips to town because I taught on line.

This is what I get for being so smug.  Our department has had two professors knocked off their feet--one because of a car accident and a seizure, the other because of an operation that needs a re-do.  The department needed seven classes covered.  Of course, I was asked to take one of them.  And it's not a good idea, when you're on a year-to-year contract to say, "No."  So, I said, "Yes."  Now I will be driving into town four days a week, just as I did during the spring semester.  Sigh!  One day...

On the upside, when the college or university calls a meeting on a day I wasn't supposed to be on campus (usually on a Monday or Wednesday), I'll be going that way at some point anyway.  And I do get paid a bit extra for the overload, which is nice.  But, with five classes (two on line, four of them writing classes), I'm wondering when I'll have time to work at the bookstore (or sleep, even).  But, I've done this before; I can do it again.  And the grass doesn't need to be mowed in the winter, usually, so I can knock that chore off my list.

When I'm tempted to complain, I think about that day three years ago, when I sat on the porch of my new home and wondered if I'd ever see my New Orleans' relatives again.  I'm grateful for what I have and what I can do.

Trying out a new program

I received a new program today called Dragon Naturally Speaking.  I think it would be easier for  me to just type. This program does work well in Word and I can open programs from my desktop with voice commands, but I think I can type faster with less aggravation. For example, I sometimes have to give up talking and type what I mean because I can't get the program to type exactly what I'm saying . It can be very confusing.  I'm sure that's just the learning curve, and, once I get used to it, I'll be fine.

One other problem I have is that I had to tell the program where to insert punctuation, which is not hard when I'm typing, but I have trouble remembering that when I'm talking.  I also have to tell it when to capitalize letters within a sentence, and I have to speak very clearly and slowly for the software to catch everything I say.

For the most part, I'm starting to get used to it, and I think once I get used to dictating instead of typing, I could become quite spoiled.  This could also help me avoid carpal tunnel syndrome since I spend so much time on the computer.

I'll keep you posted on my progress with the software and let you know if it's worth the money I paid for it.

And the Madness Begins...

Also known as the beginning of the semester!  Things get frantic for about two weeks, then we all settle in.  The beginning of the semester energizes me and gets me back into a routine--well, a different routine.

The summer--where did it go?  I planned to do so much and didn't.  Sigh...my gardens almost withered and blew away because of the heat and drought.  Now they are green again because of all the rain.  I haven't mowed the grass in a month--didn't need to because it was brown.  Now it's green and knee-high, so I'll chug out the lawn tractor and cut it all down.

I have a huge limb on the back fence--of course, it's not my fence, and the limb came from the neighbor's tree.  I'll have to get back there and cut it to pieces, but I'll need help getting it completely into my yard.  The fence will need mending--again, not my fence, not my problem.  The burn pile is huge.  As soon as the wood dries out, I'll have an immense bonfire.  Somebody bring the marshmallows!

I'm going to try to enjoy my last weekend of vacation, but I've already made contact with a few students--the early birds.  They are the ones who get a head start on the semester and help me get back into teaching mode. 

I promise to blog more.  My students will be reading and I'll need to have some fresh posts for them.  And I'll take pictures of anything remotely fascinating.  Things have been quiet here, thankfully. 

And here comes more rain...

What I did on my summer vacation...

I started looking over my posts and realized I didn't say much about my trip to Austin--my "actual" vacation, though I have been home all summer.

Well, besides the trauma of the drive to Austin, everything else went well.  My sister, Lydia, came in.  Her birthday is the day before mine, so we celebrated together.  Her son goes to UT and is working in Austin over the summer.  We met up at Oasis, a nice restaurant on Lake Travis, the day I arrived.  Oasis is up in the mountains outside of Austin, and the drive there and back scared me--twisty turny roads, steep inclines.  But the views had me dropping my jaws.  We ate outside on one of the decks with an astounding view of the lake and the homes on top of the mountain, as well as those nearer the lake.

On my sister's birthday, she, her friend Pam, and I went lampshade shopping and then we went to see "Mama Mia" at the Alamo Draft House.  My daughter used to work there (she's worked everywhere, really).  The Alamo serves food, so you can eat and watch the movie.  It's a silly, funny movie.  I love ABBA's music, so I had a good time.

We later went to see the bats come out from under the Sixth Street Bridge.  I've seen them before from the shore, but this time we were on a boat.  Spectacular.  I took some video, but it's kind of shaky.  I kept swooping the camera when I should have kept it still.

On my birthday, my daughter cooked dinner, and we stayed up talking late into the night.  Lydia came sans her friend; she needed a break.

On the Friday after my birthday, my son took us to see "The Dark Knight" at the IMax theater in Austin.  What a rush!  I had to close my eyes a couple of times because the IMax scenes made me dizzy.  But the movie was awesome.  Daniel, my son, and I sat up for a while talking about the role of the hero in modern life--well, we just dissected the hero's place in the world.  "The Dark Knight" got it right.

I stayed a day later than I planned, but that was fine.  We needed a day when we didn't have to go anywhere or do anything unless we wanted to.  Dan and I gave in to our meat cravings--we grabbed some burgers and watched "Pirates of the Caribbean--At World's End."

The trip home, as I've already mentioned, was a snap.  I didn't take any wrong turns, and I made it home in six hours exactly--and I stopped once for gas and eats.

With gas prices so high, more than one trip would have been too expensive.  Gas cost me almost $180, which is way more than it used to cost.  I'd love to travel more, but, until prices level off, I'll just use email and the phone.

Technorati Tags: vacation,Austin,birthdays