Another Day, Another Blog...

The last two weeks have passed in a blur.  All I've done, it seems, is grade papers...with short forays to the Ace Hardware store for paint for my mother and into the yard for mowing.  Other than that, I've been chained to my computer.

I've tried to make time for my own work; I stop grading papers about nine at night, then spend a couple of hours revising a novel.  I have a friend in Kentucky who's willing to swap novels with me, so I feel some pressure to make it as good as possible before I hand it over to him.  And I have a new friend who's asked me and several other poets to help with his manuscript--decide what should stay, what should go, and what might go either way.  And he's asked for help with ordering the poems.  So I have these obligations.

And, of course, November is NaNoWriMo--National Novel Writing Month.  Crazy people like me sign up to write 50,000 words in a month.  I did it last year for the first time, and I wrote 65,000 words--I'm working on revising that novel, and I'm nearly pleased with it.

I don't gripe too much about grading papers, usually.  I know it's part of my job--a big part of it.  I'd love to be able to teach a class without assigning work, but I'd have to find another way to grade students!  I have no idea how I'd do that, but I'm sure my students are full of suggestions!

But, if the weather stays as nice as its been lately, I need a bonfire this weekend!  Grading can wait for good weather!

Sunday Morning, Coming Down...

Well, no, not really.  And it's Sunday afternoon at the moment.  I'm "killing time" before my next online office hour.

I haven't been blogging much because I'VE BEEN WORKING!  Yes, working.  I'm trying to remember everything I've done since Thursday night, but I have to look at my list of "Things to Do" because my memory is shot.

I read a set of essays for my online 226 class, first drafts of their first essay; I've graded a set of writing assignments for my 115 online class and a forum that closed yesterday.  I've read two sets of blogs for my 226 classes, and I've been monitoring the online classes' critiques.  I wrote a lecture to introduce the poetry module for my online 115, and I created a podcast for said lecture.  I've been making out midterms and updating my Moodle course sites, too.

Oh, and I mowed the grass this morning after I raked up some of the fallen branches.  Managed to stall out the mower once, when I suddenly realized I hadn't picked up the water hoses and sprinklers.  Yikes!  I almost ruined my great watering system.

When I look at the list, it doesn't look like much, but then I realized that each of those tasks is labor- and/or brain-intensive.  No wonder I'm so tired right now.  I'd take a nap, but that would probably ruin my sleep tonight, and I need to get up early to go in to the college for a meeting.  I have three meetings scheduled in the next two weeks, all of them are at 11am on a Monday or Wednesday.  I usually don't need to be at school until 12:30pm, but, because of the meetings, I have to leave my house around 9:30am.  Ick.  That means I have to get up early on M/W, and I usually sleep until maybe 8 or 9am those days. Getting substantive work done in my office is nearly impossible because students and colleagues drop by to talk, the phone rings--just pick something. 

And my brother came in from Durango this weekend, so I'll need to drop in at my mom's to visit.  I don't mind this; it's just I wish I could grade papers while I'm driving.

Eloise's Hat, a work in progress.

Finally, after many months, I've written a poem. I just wrote it this morning and it's undergone some changes, but I expect, with feedback from my writing friends, it will improve.

I wrote it in memory of a woman for whom my daughter was one of many caretakers the last few months. Eloise died of breast cancer, so this is for her and for all men and women who battle this disease.

Eloise’s Hat
04/13/08


I.

The clear sky chides me from my study.
Knee-high grass waves and laughs.

I must mow.

I have waited through cold and wind and rain.
The hulking mower stares
from the garage.

I delay. I dress. I stop
for water, grab the key,
pull on my grandmother’s boots,
find gloves
and Eloise’s hat.

I am ready.


II.

The lawnmower scares me,
all roar and wire and stuttering.
It could blow up.
It could stall out.
It could run out of gas.
It is like me.


III.

It is red and loud.
I would wear earplugs
but I would miss birdsong.
I would be out of touch.

I wouldn’t hear the ping
of pinecones spinning off the blades
or hear the rocks
smash against tree trunks.

The yard flashes past me
at three miles an hour
and I must watch
the tall grass fall.


III.

I take a drink of water, a long breath.
I push the mower into the yard,
slip the lever to neutral,
flip the park switch,
set the choke.
I am deliberate.
I turn the key.
It chugs alive after months of sleep.
I move the lever to forward,
move from choke to rabbit,
increase speed.
I drop the blades.
“Off with their heads,” I yell.
I’m off to murder the grass.


IV.

Here is what you see:

A fifty-ish woman
in her grandmother’s boots
scruffy clothes
and a broad-brimmed straw hat
strap firmly under chin.
Her gloved hands
grip the wheel
and give to its swerve.
She seems intent
watches the highs
and lows.
She doesn’t hurry
though she feels
the earth move past
without her consent.

V.

I ride and mow
and think of Flo.
Her boots go with me
to stake and weed and harvest.
They stand with me.
They kick stray logs
into the fire pit.


VI.

The hat stays on my head
despite the wind and speed.
My eyes shade clear.

I think of Eloise.
I did not know her.

I imagine she wore this hat
on days when, wheeled to her patio,
she watched my daughter
weed and plant
the gardens out of reach,
this hat keeping the sun
from her face, her head.

I think how seventeen years
with a husband is too short.

I think this is a glorious day.

I think that chemo and radiation
might dim even my view.

I don’t know.

I thank Eloise for the hat
and write poems to her as I ride.

She rides with me.

It is my gift to her.


VII.

The broken limbs and twigs
hump over the fire pit.
I strike a match
and thrust it to the heart of things.
The flames rise to low tree limbs.
I hose them down to moderate the burn.
I watch the mound flatten to coals
and think of the women
I would not become.

I am all of them.


Thanks for the poem, Eloise, and for the hat!

First Mow of the Season...

Well, I cranked up the riding mower and took a ride around...and around...and around the yard today, but I'm not finished. I was afraid of running out of gas in the south forty, so I stopped when I got all of the high grass cut down. I still need to mow closer to the house, and, though I did a good job, I think, of picking up the sticks, the wind has been blowing constantly, shaking down a fresh crop of twigs that I need to gather for the burn pile. I plan to do that tomorrow morning, buy more gas for the mower, and finish the job.

I wore Eloise's hat today for yard work. It's a nice straw hat with an adjustable chin strap so it won't blow off while I'm working in the yard and riding the mower. Eloise died from breast cancer; my daughter was one of her care-givers to the end. Eloise gave Dorothy a bunch of hats; I asked for this one, and I felt guilty asking for it, but my daughter was generous and let me have it. So, the whole time I was mowing the grass today, I was writing poems to Eloise in my head. I need to write some of them down and send them to Dot. I feel lucky that I'm still healthy enough, in my fifties, to mow the grass, teach my classes, and generally make my way through the world. I should complain less. My life could be worse, really. And while that sounds cliched and stupid, it's true. I should remind myself, more often, to be grateful. And happy.

The semester is almost over. I will miss this current crop of students--they've been fun, interesting, and hard-working. And they don't complain much, really! Everything a teacher likes in students!

And I'm teaching summer school from home, so less driving! Hooray! I can reduce the big oil companies' profits by a tiny bit. Wouldn't it be great if more people could telecommute? We'd be able to reduce at least some of our dependence on oil. Of course, we still have to deal with heating and cooling the house, and a million other products that require petroleum. I wish I had enough money to convert my house to solar energy.

I'm going to make a conscious effort this summer to reduce the amount of gas I use. Except for a trip to Austin, I may only drive to visit my mother. I'll be a hermit! At least until the fall semester begins. Then I'll only be driving in two days a week and for meetings when I must.

Coffee's ready and I have papers to grade, or, as Robert Frost writes, "But I have promises to keep/And miles to go before I sleep." So, I'm off to the next task.

P. S. The peach tree I planted last year has peaches on it! But the plum trees I planted are just now leafing out--I haven't seen any blooms. Boo! That's not going to help the older plum trees that have already bloomed and leafed out. Probably no plums, unless the Victoriana sprouts some. I'll keep you posted.

Again with the Mower!

One tends to forget that, with specialized equipment, one must have specialized tools. I set out this morning to change the oil in the infamous riding mower, but, without a wrench, it's a no-go.

I mowed part of the backyard, but stopped when I thought the rain was about to come. I drove the mower under the carport (I moved the car--I'm trying to keep from breaking any more windows!), and let it cool down for a bit. I tried to get the oil drain plug loose, really I did. But, without a wrench, it just ain't gonna happen. So, this means another trip to the hardware store or garden center in search of a set of wrenches that will help me loosen this plug. But, you know, even with the right tools, I may not be able to open the plug. The guys at the factory put these things on with hydraulic tools (same goes for the tires on the car) that make loosening them nearly impossible unless you've got the muscles of the Incredible Hulk. I may have to put in a call to one of my large brothers before I can change the oil. I finished mowing the backyard, anyway, and it looks decent. But no more complete yard mowing until I get the oil changed.

You'd be proud of me, though; I didn't think twice about firing that baby up! And I'm trying to be more creative when I'm doing yard work. While I was mowing today, I drove in figure eights. Who says you have to mow in a straight line?

Right now, I'm a bit ticked off at Symantec. Their Norton Internet Security download program has my computer tied up. I've tried four times to get to Internet Explorer and I can't. I can't stop the program except by shutting down the computer. I'm using Firefox to navigate around the Net while I'm waiting to see what Norton's going to do. Man, I need a Mac!

Yesterday, I baked two loaves of bread and some rolls (same recipe--just divided the dough). It's called "Farm Bread," and the recipe calls for honey instead of sugar. I keep forgetting, though, that homemade bread is much denser than the kind I buy at the store, but the result is well worth the effort!

In High Grass...

Okay, that's it. I'm not spending one more minute trying to mow an acre with an electric lawn mower. I went out yesterday around 11am; the temp was already near 90 degrees, and I managed to mow a square of lawn before the sweat blinded me. Tomorrow, I'm going to Lowe's to buy a riding lawnmower. The temps won't get any cooler, really, and this is only June. Besides, I don't really have 10 hours a week to mow the grass. I can only go for an hour or two a day before I collapse in a puddle on the living room floor--I'm useless for the rest of the day. At this rate, I have to mow some of the grass every day. And, of course, after a week, I have to start over, so it's a never-ending chore. At least a riding mower will help me dispatch this job more quickly. The picture shows part of the backyard; walk to the right, and you'll find more. I took this picture to show the fence my neighbor was putting up.

I have a long list of "needs"--a tiller (I want to plant a ton of flower beds and enlarge the garden, and I can rent it out to my friends!), a wheelbarrow, a ladder. I just keep adding to the list of necessities. When I bought my house, I had forgotten about all this. When you rent, you don't worry about cleaning out the gutters or sweeping the pine straw off the roof; you might have to mow the yard, but the yard's usually not that big; and, generally, the landlord's not overly enthusiastic if you dig up half the yard for a garden.

I'm also wondering if I should buy a chain saw (it would need to be extremely light-weight so that I could handle it) since I'm constantly dealing with large limbs that fall when the wind kicks up. I mostly drag those to the burn pile, but some of the limbs are too much for me to drag, even.

Women with power tools! I love it! I can remember how excited I was when I bought my drill/electric screwdriver. I couldn't wait to try it out; I went all through my house hanging curtains! I love to master tools. One day, I may actually buy a table saw and start building my own bookcases.