Saturday, May 14, 2011

Generosity of Spirit

I received an email the other day from someone I haven't heard from in about two years.  The last time she contacted me, it was to tell me that she was deleting her Facebook page and her email addresses and that I shouldn't take it personally.  She has a serious bone disease that makes many everyday tasks difficult for her, and, at the time, her husband had been laid off.  She was deleting her accounts and cutting off contact because, she wrote, they had received some nasty emails from people (ignorant people, I believe) who thought my friend and her husband were freeloaders and slackers.

Well, I couldn't understand, at the time, why I had to be included with that group, since I had always been supportive of her situation, but I couldn't fault her, exactly, for wanting to withdraw from the fray.

A few days ago, I was included in a mass mailing from this person, asking me to donate to enable her to receive a helping dog.  The email explained the costs of training the dog, and it urged me to give what I could to make her life easier.

I think (hope?) I've always been something of a generous person.  I don't generally keep score--you did this for me, so I will do that for you.  I don't keep track of who paid last at the restaurant, and I'm always ready to chip in or pick up the tab, whatever I need to do.  I try to be a friend in every sense.  If someone needs to bitch, I'm there to listen.  If I can help, I will.

I'm sitting here, beating myself up, because I resent that email.  I resent that, now that this person needs monetary help, she's re-established contact with me, when she hasn't emailed me in two years.  Did she ask me how I was doing?  No.  Did she apologize for cutting me out? No.  The email seemed to suggest that I was one of her best friends, someone who would be willing to support her endeavor.

Should I be? I don't mind helping people, but I get a bit cross when they only contact me when they need something--mostly money--especially when they could care less about me, or my circumstances.

I guess I need to read Thomas Merton, or Rilke, or someone who can chip away at that hard part of my heart.  I should be more generous, shouldn't I?  I should not think of the past, especially when a small gift of money could make a difference.  I need to meditate on this and examine myself seriously to find out why this one email has twisted me around so much.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Mother's Day!

My kids live in Austin, so the most I received today was a phone call from my son and a YouTube video of "Mama Tried" by Merle Haggard--my daughter posted that on my FB profile!  And, yes, I did try.  Both of my children turned out pretty darn good, but I won't take all the credit for that.

I went to visit my mama today, and I brought her two home-grown cabbages.  Here they are with those carrots from the last post:

And here is a picture of a coreopsis; I can't believe the way this thing exploded, growthwise.  I have to tie it up when I mow!

The flower seeds I planted are coming up; I'm keeping an eye on the bean, okra, carrot, and onion seeds, as well as the garlic.  I just need to keep watering.

I noticed, as I came over the bridge into Coushatta today, that the Red River is waaaaay up.  We might be in for some flooding here.

I hope everyone had/has a happy Mother's Day!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

A Day in the Garden

I finished all of my "schoolwork" by 1pm, so I treated myself to a gardening session.  I have a small garden surrounding an odd piece of fencing.  This year, I resolved to turn it into a cottage garden, hopefully full of flowers, if the seeds I planted come up.

But the day was made sweeter by two things: first, I pulled up three carrots.  I've never successfully grown carrots before, so this is a big deal.  They aren't very big, but I ate one, and it was yummy.  Here are two of the carrots:

Second, I took some pictures of hummingbirds.  I have a feeder on the fence piece, and, as I was working, the hummingbirds flew all around me.  I couldn't understand why I had to replenish my feeders so often.  Today, I discovered that I have five (5) hummingbirds competing for them.  They are fearless.  I took quite a few pictures, and they ignored me.  Here's one:

All in all, a good, relaxing day.  I planted more beans, onions, and carrots!  Let's see if these sprout.  The rest of the plantings are coming along just great.